[Chloe rolls her eyes softly at the first comment. She's not good at this- opening up, so she's going to be a little bit of a brat along the way. She's just. Feeling a lot right now, now that they're talking about Rachel.
It's taking all she has not to just turn off the gear and go to bed. But damn if she hasn't had anyone to talk to about it. She's mentioned Rachel, said how important she is, but. She didn't go into all the details. Didn't say how much it fucking sucks. How much she loved her.]
She'd been missing a while. [Chloe isn't looking at the camera. She's found something to focus on, so that she doesn't have to look at him.] but when I woke up here, I'd... only known for a day or two that- that she was actually dead.
[She's gonnaaaa. Smoke some more.]
And like- cool. Great. She's dead. I get that! I've already gotten boohoo-ey about it, I'm practically over it. [or- trying to be?] What I can't fucking stand is that I feel bad about being over it. About- about trying not to think about her. Or about Max. About everyone. Because thinking about them fucking hurts, but if I don't I feel like a horrible person.
[Oof. Chloe hasn't really expressed this to anyone, but now it's like she can't stop, like she's wanted to get it out for a while but there's been no outlet.]
But I'm here now. I have to be here, otherwise I- I die too. I can't go back. So that's why I should just. Try and forget them all.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
momijizukamori
no subject
Date: 2018-02-17 08:14 am (UTC)It's taking all she has not to just turn off the gear and go to bed. But damn if she hasn't had anyone to talk to about it. She's mentioned Rachel, said how important she is, but. She didn't go into all the details. Didn't say how much it fucking sucks. How much she loved her.]
She'd been missing a while. [Chloe isn't looking at the camera. She's found something to focus on, so that she doesn't have to look at him.] but when I woke up here, I'd... only known for a day or two that- that she was actually dead.
[She's gonnaaaa. Smoke some more.]
And like- cool. Great. She's dead. I get that! I've already gotten boohoo-ey about it, I'm practically over it. [or- trying to be?] What I can't fucking stand is that I feel bad about being over it. About- about trying not to think about her. Or about Max. About everyone. Because thinking about them fucking hurts, but if I don't I feel like a horrible person.
[Oof. Chloe hasn't really expressed this to anyone, but now it's like she can't stop, like she's wanted to get it out for a while but there's been no outlet.]
But I'm here now. I have to be here, otherwise I- I die too. I can't go back. So that's why I should just. Try and forget them all.