[She's feeling. A lot right now. It would be so easy to just turn off the gear and go to bed and pretend like this never happened. To go back to pretending like she doesn't know why she feels so. Weird.
But that isn't healthy. She knows that isn't healthy. And she would be hypocritical, considering she just helped him with his own problems. Bleh.
Life is hard.]
I think we also just learned that it's not easy to just erase feelings, either. But... [But he has a point. And his words- "moving on isn't disrespectful" is kind of echoing a lot in her head.
Almost like it's what she needed to hear.] Thanks. For saying that, I guess. It's weird but I feel. Almost better? That's gotta count for something. Man- fuck. Emotions are too much work sometimes, aren't they? You ever just wish you could... I dunno. Remove them?
I did teach myself to shut off my own fear response.
[Explains a lot, doesn't it?]
But I can't in good conscience recommend that approach in all areas.
[He's not trying to make light of the situation, really, but it's easier than really digging into the emotional meat of what they're talking about. Of course he knows what it's like to wish you could just not feel. He spent a long time convincing himself he was a lot less prone to emotion than he was, just to try to escape it. Fat lot of good that did him.]
I think -- if I may offer an opinion -- that it's far more important to move forward toward a goal than it is to dwell on the past. As a man who has done a lot of dwelling, who shaped his life around it for a long time, it won't help you in the long run.
[If he hadn't spent forty years holding onto a stupid grudge things would have gone very differently. Dwelling on his own guilt over his mistakes is... different, he feels. He wouldn't call that dwelling so much as learning. He carries the mistakes he made with Bill very close to his heart to ensure he never, never makes them again.]
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momijizukamori
no subject
Date: 2018-02-22 09:15 am (UTC)[She's feeling. A lot right now. It would be so easy to just turn off the gear and go to bed and pretend like this never happened. To go back to pretending like she doesn't know why she feels so. Weird.
But that isn't healthy. She knows that isn't healthy. And she would be hypocritical, considering she just helped him with his own problems. Bleh.
Life is hard.]
I think we also just learned that it's not easy to just erase feelings, either. But... [But he has a point. And his words- "moving on isn't disrespectful" is kind of echoing a lot in her head.
Almost like it's what she needed to hear.] Thanks. For saying that, I guess. It's weird but I feel. Almost better? That's gotta count for something. Man- fuck. Emotions are too much work sometimes, aren't they? You ever just wish you could... I dunno. Remove them?
no subject
Date: 2018-02-22 10:20 am (UTC)[Explains a lot, doesn't it?]
But I can't in good conscience recommend that approach in all areas.
[He's not trying to make light of the situation, really, but it's easier than really digging into the emotional meat of what they're talking about. Of course he knows what it's like to wish you could just not feel. He spent a long time convincing himself he was a lot less prone to emotion than he was, just to try to escape it. Fat lot of good that did him.]
I think -- if I may offer an opinion -- that it's far more important to move forward toward a goal than it is to dwell on the past. As a man who has done a lot of dwelling, who shaped his life around it for a long time, it won't help you in the long run.
[If he hadn't spent forty years holding onto a stupid grudge things would have gone very differently. Dwelling on his own guilt over his mistakes is... different, he feels. He wouldn't call that dwelling so much as learning. He carries the mistakes he made with Bill very close to his heart to ensure he never, never makes them again.]